In honor of the witching time, I thought I'd share my own personal horror story with you:
Once upon a time (last week), a not-so-much-a-princess type female went into her attic to find a jacket for her son. What she beheld inside was a sight that froze her blood and made her scream loudly. Her not-so-gallant husband, who was in another room, neither dashed to her rescue nor appeared brandishing a sword; indeed, he rather grumpily growled, "What? Did you see a spider?"
The not-so-much-a-princess screamed again, this time in indignation as well as horror. "NO. Come. And. Look."
The not-so-gallant husband did so (much too slowly, in the not-so-much-a-princess's opinion), and, upon seeing what his fair maiden did screech about, changed his countenance double-quick. "That's pretty bad," he said.
The not-so-much-a-princess was mildly gratified at that, hence forgiving the not-so-gallant husband for not rushing to her aid. When the not-so-gallant husband began digging around in said attic of horror, he discovered more things horrific than can be described. He dragged evidence of the awful out and put it on the screened porch, that all may see and dismay. So the author respectfully submits them to you, dear reader, for your investigation and sympathy. Be warned: 'tis not for the weak of heart.
Yep--many, many, MANY snake skins.
From.
My.
Attic.
Lord, have mercy.
Indeed, that's a ruler. At the head.
And here is that same ruler, at the same spot, showing you how long these suckers were.
The handsome fellow I'm blaming for all this. If he didn't need to be WARM, for Pete's sake, I wouldn't have been in that chamber of terror in the first place. He's about five feet, five inches tall, so you can do the math on how long these skins are. (The answer, of course is "TOO FRIKKIN' LONG TO LIVE IN MY HOUSE!")
The worst, worst, worst part of this story is that the snake of the skins was never found, leaving one to deduce that he (she?) is still happily haunting my attic, leaving her ghostly presence for us to wonder at. I guess if we MUST have a happy ending here, it's that we certainly don't seem to have any MICE in the attic . . .
9 comments:
.... *laughs*
I wouldn't scream...
Not insanely scary.
But the snake might come out if it heard you scream! ( to run away)
Wow, that's pretty amazing. Life in the country!
That's a pretty good reason why I will never visit you again as well. Hee Bee Jeebies!
Welp, slumber parties at Beck's are now OUT OF THE QUESTION. And obviously it's time for you to move into town.
OH-MY-GOOOODNESSSS!
I would have totally had a scream fest...after I killed my not so princely husband.
I don't do snakes.
Bless your heart honey. Make him find that snake/snakes. Don't let him come down til he does.
I would settle for nothing less than his head...the snake's, not the husband's.
Yep, yucky. I've come to terms with the snake who haunts my attic, though--upon reflection, I've decided that I'd rather have a snake than mice. As long as said snake stays in the attic and slithers away when she hears me coming . . .
HOLY MOLY. I would scream as well. That FREAKS ME OUT. ugh. I am sorry. So sorry...but at least you don't have rodents..right?? what KIND of snake is it??
Kassi,
Methinks it's a black snake--which is good at keeping pests out of my garden (and attic, I suppose), but gets horrificaly BIG and LONG!
I think the most disturbing part is the number of skins. Why do you think there is just ONE snake?
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