Blogging for me is funny. Either I post a lot and run out of things to say, or I don't post very faithfully and find that I have so much I've neglected to communicate that I don't know what to say. I admire those who have found the perfect balance and actually say something every day that I'm interested in reading. Truth be told, I haven't done much reading or writing of blogs for a long while, so if I used to comment on yours a lot and now haven't, it's not because you are less fascinating or that I don't like you anymore--it's not you, it's me.
I am overwhelmed. I was in the bathroom at JBU the other day and they have these little "health notes" that they post on the doors periodically--I guess they figure you're there anyway, why not better your life? (Multi-tasking at its finest.) So this day's topic was "The Three Signs of Stress." I was not surprised to see that I exhibit some of the classic signs of stress--what I WAS shocked to see was that apparently I am in the "third and most serious stage"--in other words, I'm one-toe-hanging-over-the-cliff from nervous breakdown! Which seems weird, because overtly, I don't FEEL like I'm gonna lose it.
I was reflecting on this newest stage of my life. I used to be so organized--Suzy Homemaker and proud of it. I was able to keep my house clean, keep my toddlers fed and entertained, do crafts, hang with my mommy friends, exercise six days a week, lead the local MOPS ("Moms Of PreschoolerS) discussion group, teach aerobics four days a week, AND manage to read a book or two a week. Now I can barely pull myself together to work out more than my required twice a week (because I've slowly, over the years, weeded out two aerobic classes--and I'm about to give up one more!), do laundry just enough so that the fam has clean jags ("underwear" to you non-RVA-ites), and slap some microwave pizza in the oven. What has changed? How did I go from dynamo-girl to this creature who sees all she has to do for the day and decides to just take a nap (or in this case, write a whiney blog)? Have any of you ever hit this skid before? If so, how did you handle it? One thing I have noticed is that I spend a LOT more time in the car, running the kids hither and thither--school is 15 mins. away, so to take them to school, come home, and then drive off to pick them up is an hour every day. Then when MyGirl has after-school stuff, that is an extra 30 mins. Add in youth group on Wed. and Sunday nights, and there are a couple more chunks of driving time. I mean, I don't have any reason to complain, I know that--I have a healthy family, a roof over my head, a car that runs, food to eat, basic needs taken care of each month, with a little left over for some fun stuff--how pitiful am I to be fussing? Why can't I just pull myself up by the bootstraps and get 'er done?
I do manage to do the necessities--I am ready for my Comp class every day, and it is going well. I pay the bills on time, and as I mentioned, the jags are usually clean before they run out. I just find little joy in this grind. Good thing I've started a new Bible study on joy--if I can make myself actually do the work . . .
Boo hoo, poor me. Ignore this post. I'll try and write something better later, because I can't stand listening to myself right now.
1 week ago
8 comments:
sorry, can't ignore it. I feel the exact same way you do.
Maybe it's hormons, age, stage of lazy. I don't know.
I think just the thought of doing it all over again, each & every day is overwhelming.
i am having the same problem, plus i was angry all the time. i finally had to go to the doctor and ask for help getting through this. i am not saying it is for everyone and it is only a short term fix, but it has helped tremendously.
One of my friends told me just today that women of today exibit the same level of frazzlement of women in the 50's that were institutionalized. sometimes i feel like a nut house would be the perfect place to get some rest LOL.
hope you don't mind me popping in and leaving a comment
I'm with you too!! I actually read this post pre-nap. Did I have time to take a nap? Absolutly not. I have laundry mildewing in the washer as we speak..but I'm so darn tired I can barely lift a finger to type this word of semi-encouragement. You're not alone. I truely believe we run ourselves ragged...such is life. Hang in there cuz. Those kids will be driving before you can blink again and you'll long for it while you're whittleing away your time (okay,maybe not you, you don't strike me as a whittler).
Can't help you with your problem...think it has to do with age. I use to have lofty goals and vitality to conquer the world. Now I look for a place to point my toes toward the heavens.
Loved the clocks!! Will try to figure out how to put them on my website and blog.
As the mean boss in "Baby Boom" says to Dianne Keaton after she can't compete with a baby and her job "You've been on the fast track a long time, kiddo, its ok to slow down". Just give yourself a break and love every second of it! Love you. did you read the frekish comment that dad got on his blog. so completely unrelated to his sweet post. wierdos are lurking.
I hear you about the blogging issue. I post a lot, and I feel like I'm rambling. But then a whole period of time goes by, and I feel like I have so much to catch up on that it's overwhelming.
As far as organization goes - girl, you've got an entire family! I can't even keep it together for just me! You ARE amazing!
And I'll save you from weeding through all my crazy posts to tell you - I'M GOING TO KENYA! :) :) :)
Looks like I'll be in North Central Kenya, possibly Korr, east of Marsabit. Middle. Of. Nowhere. desert town. I'm SO excited!
Anyway, don't worry too much about not getting it all done. I think that's a myth. You've got a lot going on, and you're doing it well! Be encouraged! :)
Hope you're having a great day!
All,
It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks for your comments, because as we all know, misery ain't happy unless she's got her some company.
And Hillary,
WHOO-HOO. I haven't checked your blog in awhile (I haven't checked ANYONE'S blog in awhile) but I'm off right now to read all about it. Here's a key phrase for you to learn:
Choo iko wapi? (Where's the bathroom?)
Where's MY comment? Where's MY stuff? ;) I think I said something like I usually say to the tune of...Give yourself a breather young lass!! You are the highest achiever in NE Oklahoma and it is time to look at your accomplishments and say "It is good" then you could rest a bit and nobody's gonna care.
When I think about you I actually think you have got the work hard/play hard thing down. You are actually pretty good at both things and that is quite an accomplishment. I'm half arsed on both accounts. Oh well. xoxo
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